Loner bitchy but not sluty

Yes, I do feel lonely. I am lonely by my choice, I had been loner throughout my life, either I am without people or with people.
People know me, as a jolly, bubbly, always cheerful, fun person to hangout, but yes, they don’t know what is going in my mind, when they are with me I am always planning their murders, ab koi dhol Baja kar murder Tou plan karega nahiiii…
I know this is no good. But I like to live alone, I am not in habit now to be with people. Jus for instance, I haven’t went for movie in since 2nd June 2013, my friends and family is for movie today “Wazir” and I am thinking how I will adapt in this situation, so I denied saying ” what will I do in between you couples”.
Just a week back, I had an encounter with a guy, a little date kind of thing, where I was having whiskey on the rocks and he was having Red bull(lal saand). I know little girly on his end, Waise bhi I had been a guy throughout, poor he had to bear me for that evening. Later on, as expected( that was my expectation, unknowingly his, ab koi antaryami Tou hu nahi) we had couple of kisses, how stupid and blunt could be I said, “lagta hai practice katam ho gai”. Fuck I really said that.
But, actually, I was in the state of little shock because I haven’t had an encounter with a guy in such a long period, last I had it when I was drunk on 22nd September 2014, I know…I know… Completely and unexpectedly reverse of me. Fuck but that’s so fucking true.
Ab, this if I share with any family members, they will be stuck like fixed, and I would be getting dialogues like,” is ladki ko sharam bhi nahi aati batate hue yeh sab”. Ab hum koi sharma todhi hai jo sharma jaye.
Lol, sex is my choice and with my comfort not with the comfort of others. I enjoy even in self pleasures with little things, but will post that in next blog, till then enjoy this one.
Sayonara… Dasvidaniya

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